Monday, July 2, 2012

Dating and Waiting

As little girls we tend to believe that our love lives will be a fairy tale and Prince Charming will ride up on a noble steed and save us from all our troubles. As lovely as that would be, it very seldom happens. For those of you that are in love and work to stay in love, I salute you!

For those of us that are dealing with the ups and downs of dating, I urge you to not give up. Love takes work. Relationships take work. Marriage is a contractual business arrangement and it too takes work. It takes time to meet and get to know someone that you are truly compatible with. Being in this dating game, I am the first to admit that it is HARD!

I think in the past year I have been on more dates than ever and I can't say that any of them will lead to anything, but I am hopeful and still dating and waiting. There are always obstacles. Some are too great to overcome, others not so much. Knowing what you are willing to work with and what doesn't work for beforehand is extremely helpful. For instance, will you date someone with kids...or someone who doesn't like/want kids, will you date someone long distance, someone without a car, someone who still lives at home, someone with 15 cats...and the list goes on and on.

I have a semi-formed list in my head, but I find that it changes. Every situation is different, but I definitely know what I don't want!

I watched this movie Broken English over the weekend and I found that I identified a lot to the leading character. It was a sad revelation and I cried a lot. The funniest thing to me was when she went on a dating site, put in her criteria and the the thing said "nothing matches your search!" (The movie is on Netflix, you should watch it).

Sometimes we can set requirements so high that only God can match what we want. I personally have relaxed my standards...a little and I know it's the reason I am now more open to dating different creatures men. Most of them have been creatures though. For real.

While I don't agree with all the points Steve Harvey made in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, I do think it is a good read and everybody can take something from the book, men and women. I also believe that we should wait before having sex. There I said it. Wait. You don't want to create soul ties with someone that you don't even like. I won't say wait 90 days, wait til you're married or anything like that, but wait until the time is right for you and you know a person. I'm reminded of the character in the movie based on the book, Maya, and how ole dude just left her a note AND took her coffee. Don't let anybody take your coffee.

I think first and foremost, you have to know yourself, be happy with who you are as a person and be totally in love with yourself (but not to the point of vanity). If you don't love you, can you really expect someone else to? Also, know that type of person you are looking for. Sometimes we have to kiss a few frogs until we find the prince, so don't beat yourself up if a date doesn't go well. While you are looking, be sure you can match up with the qualities you expect a potential partner to have. You can't expect them to make 6 figures and you don't even have a job. Be realistic. Nobody is perfect. Nobody, not even you. Expect some flaws. Just know which are too great for you to deal with. Lastly, be honest. Be honest with yourself and be honest with a person you are getting to know. Don't wait until your wedding day to tell someone you were born the opposite sex! Ok that is a bit extreme, but you don't want to start off on the wrong foot. If you build something on a shaky foundation, it will surely crumble.

To all that are still dating and waiting, good luck. I am wishing on the stars for you (and me)!

Sending Chocolate Kisses,
RoJo

2 comments :

  1. Hi there, you are so funny, I was lol from this post.
    I wish you the best with finding your soul-mate. It wasn't easy for me but I'm happier than ever now. Great advice to be open to differnt men, one life to live so we have to be happy living it.

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    1. Thank you! I wish I could tell some of the stories, but people would probably sue me! I'm glad you have your soul mate and I can't wait until I meet mine!

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