Sunday, September 8, 2013

Look At God!

Happy Sunday y'all!

I'm a person of strong faith. Sometimes I am tested and sometimes I fail. All I can do is pray for God's continued guidance and continuously seek Him, in good and bad times.

I often struggle with how much I should share with you guys...a lot of times I will write a post and then edit it before the email is sent...still fully aware that some of you may read it before I make edits. :)

Today little Boogie and I went to church for the first time. I usually never make it to Sunday School. Today was no exception, they just ran a little over the allotted time. I'm glad I caught the end. The message was "Sometimes you have to give up your right to be right to be seen as righteous in the eyes of God."

During my pregnancy I struggled with anger. I was mad at everyone. This kept everyone at a distance and now I realize that the help that I didn't get was my fault. It wasn't their fault that I was mad. I was mostly mad at myself. But during those 9 months, I found reasons to be mad at everyone, God included.

See, something happened to me that I never EVER expected. When I found out I was pregnant and told the father of my child that we were going to have a baby, his response was mean and cruel. I never would have expected this from him, but that's what I got. And that was the last time I spoke to him. I have always tried to be an honest and good hearted (is that a word? IDK). Anywho...he and I have history and I would have never expected him to just walk away but he did. This caused me to harbor a lot of anger and resentment. I'm working to move past it though...I'm still a work in progress. God ain't through with me yet!

This has been a very difficult transition, but I'm working through it and I am very thankful and grateful for the angel He allowed to escape from Heaven and come into my life.

I say all of this to get to a point...the Message from today's service was about the potter. I don't have the scriptural references with me...but basically when the potter makes a piece that is imperfect, it is broken and reworked until it is perfected. This may take many times to accomplish, but the potter NEVER gives up. I am an imperfect piece that has been broken down and right now the Master Potter is reworking me. Building me up to what He would have me to be.

I believe it to be true that God doesn't make any mistakes. So even though my situation is not what I would consider as ideal, I know there is a bigger work in progress. My circumstance IS NOT my conclusion! I continue to pray for him and that one day he will decide to take a part in our daughter's life.

I would like to give a big thanks to all of those that pray for me and Trinity and those that had and still have my back, even when I was (for lack of a better word) a bitch. Thank you guys for continuing to read and I pray God continues to bless you all as well!

I hope you all have a great week!

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