Tuesday, July 7, 2015

A Little More Me

Tonight, for the first time in a very long time I’m not worried. Not about my home life anyway. I’ve been trying to figure out what in the hell I did with my life before I had a kid. I can barely remember me before I had a child. I mean, I know that I enjoyed my life and I was always doing something. At this particular moment I’m having a hard time remembering how I filled my time.

I know I partied…but I didn’t really hang out like that during the week…or did I? I traveled, but those trips were always spaced out. Aside from the occasional dinner or drinks with friends, I’m lost. Did I spend that much time in Target?

Sure, I had more time to read and cook foods that were experimental…but what else was there?! My work schedule hasn’t changed that much. Sure, the load is a lot heavier these days, but sheesh.
Have I fallen so deep into parenthood that I have removed all traces of my former self? Maybe. I’m sitting here in my bed (alone, since Boogie decided to spend the night with her auntie), eating my Oreo McFlurry…kind of bored. I picked up my purse and my iPad and my dad said, “Where are you going? Are you running away too?” And I just kind of blinked. I have nowhere to go. No one to call and say “Hey, let’s hang.” My life is lame! I’m not OK with it!

I’m almost 32…something has got to change. I’m like a young old lady. And I have the old lady night gowns to prove it… So, as my birthday approaches, merely a month away, I’m making a vow to myself. You guys are my witnesses. A vow to get back to some form of the sassy young woman I think I remember being! To find some people to connect with…any other mommies out there need a grown up play date?! I’m so serious. How did this become my life?

I love my kid with everything I have in me. Maybe it’s time to take a pinch of that back for myself. Does this happen to all parents? Or is it just me? Where do I begin? How do I get some spunk back? I guess the first step is actually taking a first step. Doing something other than just coming home every day and putting on my jammies and hitting the sack before 10pm.

Maybe Pinterest has the answer. I’ll check and let you guys know lol.

Thanks for listening!


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